Snake Dream

I should have wrote this down when I had the dream. I was chasing the snake trapping him from hurting others. This is the 2nd time my cousins from back home have been in the dream. I have not seen or talked to them in decades. The youngest one was in the dream. I forget who else was in the dream, but I was the hero. In the dream its as if I was video taping the incident like one of those POV videos.  I saw me with hand out stretched capturing the snake as it were nothing. I was not afraid of it. It had fangs. It hissed at me.

Wait, let me back up, the snake came from the toilet. I was on the toilet looked down and this brown snake with fangs came up at me. LOL! Yeah, I was taking a shit. So the "brown" snake is shit! LOL I have no idea what that means. Now, it did not transform from one to the other. It was just there like one of those movies, snakes coming out of the toilet.

So once the snake came out the toilet somehow it went from coming at me and started chasing my family or whomever was in the house. I was the one running after it trying to capture it and throw it out. Why didn't I try to kill it? I don't know. I grabbed it, had it folded like it was an electric cord. It's head was till free and I just threw it out in the yard/wilderness or so I thought.  I didn't throw it far enough and of course it kept coming back. I woke up. End of dream.

Now on to interpretation.

What's going on in my life: 
Work: Lots of additional responsibilities. Taken over a lot of my supervisor's responsibilities. Tons of work overdue and tons of immediate deadlines. Overwhelmed yes, but I like the excitement.
Love: We're okay, but could be better. I want to travel, buy a house possibly or at least rent a house or townhouse. I'd also like him to be more attentive emotionally and definitely romantic and surprising.
Health: I'm in good shape. No health issues. Loosing weight. Could use more discipline in my eating habits and definitely need to increase my strength training.
Social: My new friends are great. I could use a little more charisma and outgoing spirit but I am who I am.

Noooow let me see if I can interpret this dream.

Rev Curtis Black Series in Order

Here's the order of all 10 titles: 

1. CASTING THE FIRST STONE

2. TOO MUCH OF A GOOD THING

3. THE BEST-KEPT SECRET 

4. LOVE & LIES 

5. SIN NO MORE 

6. THE BEST OF EVERYTHING

7. BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU PRAY FOR

8. LOVE, HONOR, and BETRAY

9. THE REVEREND'S WIFE

10. A HOUSE DIVIDED!

Earn the Right to Be a Leader

Reading morning devotions from The Word For You Today. I am so enjoying this daily reading. The discussions seem so timely for me right now, divine order. Thank you to my book club for giving me this book last month.

Today's word focuses on "Earning The Right To Lead". To earn this right, you must listen and follow God's Word, be fully prepared to take on the responsibilities and pressures of new and greater leadership, and of course count the cost and rather or not the investment or sacrifice is worth time away from your family and friends. Don't forget your faith. Continue to keep God first and do everything in order and in line with the will of God. As you climb the corporate ladder you take on the risk of continually decreasing time with the Lord, your family, your friends, and even yourself. Don't loose sight of those things that got you there, the things that made it possible for you to progress.

My time on the job has brought me from day to day boredom to not enough time in the day to do all I have on my to do list. I've taken over my supervisor's responsibilities, been thrown in the fire head first to back track and catch up on projects dangling in the wind, and learned so much along the way. People ask am I going to get the promotion or labeling me the next in line. This is not how it works in state government for one and two, I am not qualified to hold the director's position. My data manipulation skills are not advanced enough to manage such a task.

However, I am handling the current responsibilities every well.  I believe God is preparing me for the next level, and this has been great training for my tenacity, patience, attitude, and overall relationship skills. I'm willing to dive in and move from behind the scenes which have been my safe ground for over 10 years. I'm willing to make the most of what God has gifted me to do. Today's lesson has reassured me that I need to focus on the current "training" plan, absorb all that comes my way and file it for future reference, build relationships, and smile. God loves you and I'm open to receive that love. You should be too. Step out of your comfort zone, take the initiative, allow God to promote you, train you, and lead you through the fire and to greater blessings.

"If God has given you leadership ability, take the responsibility seriously." Romans 12:8

Something great happened to me today – Counting the Blessings

1.      Me and baby cakes got up early and went to a new spot for breakfast. I LOVED IT! All Smiles.  I love trying new spots.  I use this app called Yelp which lets you check in everywhere you go, critic your experience, and share with the world.  They host events for new locations and post new businesses for people to try.  Red Bicycle Coffee and Crepes was on the list of new businesses and it’s only like 5 min from my job. You know I had to go see what it’s all about. Number one, I love crepes.  I’ve made some before and they were fabulous.  I haven’t made them for boo thang yet, but I will.  I have now become a coffee addict.  I love the boutique coffee experience more than anything.  I tried Crème and I’m in love with their Cuban style express, or is it a latte? I don’t know.  I just know I love it and I need it sometimes. So this new place Red Bicycle Coffee and Crepes is the cutest spot.  It’s located in Germantown. I totally love this neighborhood; wish I could afford to live there. It would make a great morning run spot. We ate in and left in time for both of us to get to work on time. Love! I had the Wake Up Crepe which included eggs, turkey, onions, cheese, and mushrooms. It was very filling.  I needed some hot sauce though.  I need that boost of flavor.  The hot sauce they had available was some type of Asian stuff that did nothing for me. It was more sweet than hot.  My boo had the Florentine which was stuffed with eggs, spinach, cheese, and mushrooms. He added turkey.  They were both tasty.  The lattes were great as well. Boyfriend forgot he didn’t like the creaminess of lattes but enjoyed it otherwise.  He got the Nutty Latte which was hazel nut and almond. I chose the latte of the day which was almond joy and coconut.  I thought there was a third syrup but I can’t remember what it was.  Either way I tasted none of the sweetness I thought I would. Nonetheless I enjoyed the experience and would certainly go again, this time for lunch or small dinner.  Yes, crepes for dinner.  They have just about any and everything you want to try. And you can make your own.  I have to come back and try a dessert crepe. Life is good this A.M. J

We spent $25 on breakfast this morning. That’s way too much. 

2.      My boo gave me money for parking this morning. J He take care of me. So glad when I don’t have to talk down the hill or wait on that shuttle.  The only down part about working downtown for the state is the parking situation. We have free parking but it’s about 10 min away from the building.  There’s no getting to work just on time and walking in the building.  If you are running late add another 10-15 min to that. Also at least 3 days a week I’m bringing my duffel bag full of run clothes to the job.  So that’s my purse, lunch bag, sometimes I may have a work bag, and duffel bag.  That’s a hassle trying to lug all that up the hill on the shuttle or just walking. Some days are ok; other days are a big inconvenience.  I love the days when I only have to bring my purse to work.  Those are my easy breezy days.  

3.      Finally got the official word that my program coordinator has been approved and her start date is Monday, March 11. Woosha! This is kinda scary. I’m actually going to be responsible for someone else’s paycheck, time, leave, work, and progress. Hope I do a great job. Hope I’m a good supervisor. Hope I’m not too standoffish. Hope I’m not overbearing. Hope I’m qualified. Hope I measure up. Hope I’m competent. Confidence. Courage. Stamina. Personality. Attitude. On your mark. Get set. Go.

4.      Free lunch today at TPAC and Vandy’s Inside Out the Lunchbox presentation today. Love free lunches. Today we learned about the background happenings of putting on a production. They talked about the lights, equipment, set-up, take down, etc. The whole 9 yards. It’s a lot of work. Very interesting. 

Daily blog random thoughts moments of lows and highs

Feeling like a failure Lord. Feeling like a failure. Feeling like I’m an outcast once again. Why? How? Perspective? Quilt? Insecurity? Confusion.

Really. People want to dish out their attitude on me but when I give it right back to them they get offended. Please! Really!

I want my Trefoils right about now.

~’He saw the best in me. He’s mine and I am his. It doesn't matter what I did. He only sees me for who I am.” ~

Whenever you’re feeling down it’s wise to talk with someone. You can either talk to them about what’s bothering you or you can just have a general conversation and forget about what it is that’s bothering you.  This will give you strength to think things over, consider outcomes, and create solutions.  Life is funny like that. If we talk about our issues to the right person or people they have a way of solving themselves and making you feel better about life in general.  If we keep it bottled up we harbor strong feelings of self-hate and resentment to those affected, ourselves, and even those who have nothing to do with the issue.  Talking through your situation is a reason to move on, create new space, new energy, love yourself, and make life a better way of living. Speak on it to those you trust.  Hire someone; seek therapy, art, exercise, love, companionship, etc. 

Hair advice I learned at the BGR! Conference 2012 from the author of K is for Kinky website/blog

1.      Never use a clarifying shampoo to wash hair weekly.  It will strip your hair down to the bone and cause breakage.

2.      Only use clarifying shampoo once a month or every 3 months if you have wax build-up.

3.      When shampooing use a sulfate-free and paraffin-free, or is that parabens, shampoo. L’Oreal has a new line called EverCreme Sulfate-free Moisture System.  The Cleansing Conditioner is a cleanser / moisturizer in one great for co-washing.

4.      Sofn’Free has a line called “Nothing But”, their Cleansing Conditioner is good as well according K is for Kinky.  

Nothing But has a very good website by the way, in my opinion. Haven’t used the products yet, but I think I will. So far I’m in love with As I Am but I’m so over the curl thing.  Its winter and I can’t wake up and wet my hair every morning to get it looking good and going to sleep at night with a wet head doesn’t really make things any better or simpler; this is why I love the press n’ curl.  It works great for my low maintenance-self.  However, the runner in me requires so much more.

5.      Always section and wash your hair.  It makes it easier to manage and you are more likely to get all the hair and scalp clean more thoroughly.

6.      Putting conditioner on your scalp cakes the scalp, film build up.

7.      K is for Kinky recommends Infusium23’s leave-in conditioner because it is water-based. She didn’t say which line, but I’m assuming the Frizz Controller Collection.    

However, in my notes she also turns around and says cream-based leave-in conditioners are best.  Now I’m confused. So which ones are cream-based? What kind of cream?  Do the ingredients actually say cream? Guess I’ll have to go back and check. I already knew I won’t be trying Infusium.  I’ve tried it before and didn’t really care for it, but everyone’s hair is different.  No matter what advice you get from what expert you always have to try different regimens and product mixtures on your own hair.  No two people are alike. These new “natural experts” are all the same, just letting you know what works did and did not work for them. God bless them.

 

8.      Last product plug was Cantu’s Curl Activator Cream. All of Cantu’s products are made with Shea Butter, and you know how black people love them some Shea Butter. K is for Kinky loves this product because it has glycerin which attracts water meaning moisture for your lovely locks.

I’m a little confused by notes on this one. I also have beside Cantu – water-based.  I’m not really sure if this means the product is water-based or if there was something else being said and I missed it because beside that I have “twist in look get…” but its crossed out so I don’t know what I’m missing here but if the product name as the term “cream” in it, I’m thinking it’s not water-based.

Regardless, I’ve tried Cantu products before and didn’t like them.  But that was before everyone else liked them. So maybe I used them incorrectly or used the wrong product.  I may or may not give this one another try. Truth be told, I’m so over the curl thing. Did I say that already?  

9.      Types of oils great and yummy for black hair: Honey, Almond oil, Shea butter, Coconut oil, EVOO, Jojoba, Argon, and Macadamia Nut oil. 

 MMMM I’m hungry just typing this. I’ve tried the coconut oil thing and that definitely did not work well for me. It was too gooey and just not fun at all. It didn’t even smell tantalizing. I have the Argon oil, no biggie. Honey? Not really sure how to work this in; would love to do almond oil. That just sounds wonderful. I have not tried pure EVOO on my hair. Thing I’ll look that one up since I keep in the kitchen and figure out how to use it safely for my hair, should be interesting.  And the Macadamia oil, wow! Now that just sounds delish!  

All this stuff seems pretty expensive just to maintain a “natural” look. [shaking my head] Black women go through way too much to be beautiful and comfortable in a natural state of mind.

Case of the Mondays

You know how it goes. It starts with getting out the bed. “Uggggh I don’t wanna go!”  It takes you extra long to drag yourself to the shower, find clothes to wear, and get out the door. I prolong it as much as possible.  The fact that I don’t have to take my boyfriend to work on Mondays helps with my feeling of not being rushed and responsible for anyone else. (I still need him to show me those earmuffs. His ass thinks he’s gotten away with it. Bullshit)

You know the normal attire for Monday, black. Not to be symbolic of going to a funeral because 1) you don’t really wear black to a funeral anymore, do you; and 2) that’s just not good karma.  I am very happy and blessed to have my job. I don’t want it to die and go away. My reason for black this morning and most mornings is I don’t feel like trying to be creative.  I have limited amount of slacks and decent shirts so I have to play Russian roulette and figure out what to wear most mornings.  Do it at night. Are you crazy?  Who does that?  I’m just not too sure about that one.  That’s like taking a bath at night so you don’t have to get wet in the morning and go out in the cold. I’m too old for that nonsense.  I need the shower to help get me going in the morning. Then I’m ready to figure out this clothes thing. If I were a stay at home mom wife life would be much easier.  Who started all this equal gender crap anyway?  He makes the money; me cook, clean, shop, and take care of the kids. That would drive me crazy too. So Scratch that.

Children aren’t in the cards for everyone. I’m closer now to wanting a child than I’ve been before but a huge part of me still has reservations.  Ninety percent of me don’t think I can handle the birthing part.  Me, a baby, a human inside, naaaah God got that one wrong.  Don’t think I’m emotionally stable for that one. What if my baby comes out with medical problems?  I’m already on edge.  It would be my entire fault and I’d feel so guilty about bringing a child into this world to face so much pain and turmoil. 

Back to work. Enough of the rigmarole back to work. 9:39am let’s get this party started. It’s a run day J