So this is the revelation I received this morning.

I need to live below my means. LOL I know. Duh, right? However its so depressing living below your means. For example if I make 40,000 I should really be living on 30,000. Why? Because:

1) if I'm really making 40,000 a year, I'm only actually bring home about 30,000 after taxes. its the net not the gross that you have free to spend.

2) uncle Sam thinks anyone without children or a spouse make too much and should pay more taxes than everyone else. So whether I claim 0 and pay the piper all year and look for my big break in April or if I cheat a little during the year, claim 1 and pay at the end, Sam still gets his cut either way.

3) I want to leave an inheritance for my nieces and nephews. Instead of leaving debt, I want to leave a trust and let them live off the fat of the land. Teach them how to manage money at an early age, develop business skills, and encourage them to look beyond their immediate pockets and into the future bank rolls they could hold, companies they could own, land, and royalties earned without working. I saw a show called "The fabulous life of young hot Royalty". There's a family in Germany who is simply rich just because their ancestors were postal workers.

Take 22-year-old Prince Albert Von Thurn Und Taxis. He's heir to a powerful German Dynasty credited with modernizing what we know of as today's postal system. When he turned 18 he inherited one of Europe's largest fortunes and is now worth $2 billion dollars-- making him the youngest billionaire in the world. Oh and the massive 500 room German palace he grew up in? That belongs to him too.

So I'm thinking, I'm not going to invent anything anytime soon so how can I work on leaving an inheritance and not an inherited debt. I must first get out of debt and live below my means so that I can store up funds to buy land, real estate, and start a business. Then I can work on my plan for inheritance building.

4) by watching and hearing various stories of white people, people from India, Mexicans, etc Black people are the only people who do not help one another, who spend more than they make, who buy to impress their neighbors and friends while stockpiling bills, who buy a car they cannot afford while living in an apartment more lavish than the house they should be buying, etc. Because we are so depressed from living on the bottom, being born on the bottom, starting out on the bottom, that when we see light, get a good job, find a piece of money, the first thing we do is spend it and worry about the bills later. I have been spending every penny to the max, not leaving room for mishaps, uncontrolled circumstances, no money in the bank at the end of the month, stretching dollars until they break and cant be sown back together. Living on your own, being independent does not mean asking mom, dad, and uncle for handouts every time I get in a jam. I do not believe it is the White man keeping us down. I believe their are enough intelligent black people to start their own business, hire and fire people, produce a good product, provide quality service, and be prosperous beyond the status quo diddy understands this and he has no talent whatsoever, but he has made his ability to bs and hustle his cash cow. J understands this and so does T.I. and 50 cent. They all came from nothing, out the hood, did their dirt, and saw a way to turn that dirt making ability into an empire. I know this is a far stretch and they are talented rappers but they have other business ventures that are working for them making money when they are doing nothing. How dumb can that be? Not that celebrity success is the basis of my whole philosophy but it has its place.

5) I am tired of living pitiful enjoying a little now and trying to figure out the rest later.

There's more to my ah ha moment but i'm tired of typing, i know you're tired of reading, and I'm distracted anyway LOL my attention has moved on to something else. But I thought I'd share in my revelation which I prayed for when asking God what I should do about my apartment situation. And believe it or not, he actually gave me an answer LOL !


**this was written may 27, 2010 hanging out in my drafts so i figured i'd finally post it.**

Tell em why you mad!

I'm so not in a good mood today and I have no one to talk to. everyone is so anal and look at me as the bad guy and over reactor.

I read a fb post this morning from a clinical therapist that emotional intelligence is the ability to use wisdom and react not out of emotion but out of sincere thought, facts, and discernment or some ish like that, rationalizing and separating the facts from what you feel at that moment. I have also been reading notes on linkedin from a social work therapist who specializes in anger management. he posted a question about the difference between emotional intelligence and the ability to effectively build and maintain positive relationships.

I use to react a lot out of emotion before I started college. everything was a personal attack and pissed me off. As I went through my college years I have grew considerably and am working even harder to grow in this area. I consider myself a more calm cool and collected individual. I consider the other person's viewpoint before I voice my concerns. Most of the time I don't say anything as it would only cause an uproar, feelings to be hurt, and chaos due to misunderstanding and lack of acceptance and respect for me on their part. In my considering both sides of the situation and trying to compromise and understand I don't feel anyone else listens with an open mind and try to understand things from my perspective. I"m definitely not saying I"m right about everything but at least give me a chance before passing judgement and running with preconceived notions.

With all that said, this ish has nothing to do with y I'm totally pissed off at this moment. LOL I'm highly p.o.'d because I am stupid broke. My financial management expertise is less than that of a kindergartner or homeless person rationing out his last 3 pennies. On top of that what really got under my skin this morning was a work email from another agency.

Part of my job is to filter outside request. In this latest request, the person asked for 2 years of data similar to what I gave her 2 years ago. Cool, no problem. I did it, although tedious and mundane, I put on hold what I was doing and completed the assignment. Once submitted I did not receive a thank you, I got it, blah blah or anything until today, 2 weeks later. And guess what she asked for, additional data. And she had the nerve to say that I gave her this "additional" information 2 years ago. This however is a lie! I did not give her that information 2 years ago. I did explain to her that what she was asking for was obtainable, but would not be submitted for another 4 weeks as I was in overload with my own assignments specific to my department. No, those were not my exact words, but it is pretty close. I smooth went off as professional and restrained as possible. LOL

And the part I'm pissed off about is not that she asked for additional data but that I spent my time trying to get something done for her putting my work on the back burner and she responds 2 weeks later. If it wasn't that important I would not have wasted my time. That's what has me flustered.

Needless to say this is how my day started and has since continued to snowball and no one is in their right mind enough for me to vent. Why? Because I'm the bad guy...the over-reactor. However when they react in a similar manner to similar situations its okay, it's allowed, its understood. This concept not just professionally but socially continues to irk me to the fullest extent of befuddlement. I have never and will never understand how my emotional intelligence is graded on a completely different scale.

And another thing, why in the hail don't people respond to email? If you receive an email needing a response why would you not respond? Is it because you don't want to get caught up in some bullish? Why would you have something to say that you can't back up or don't feel comfortable repeating? Because you fear retaliation or I spy-ism why does that stop you from saying hey, I received your email, I'll talk with you later about it or some ish like that. SAY SOMETHING! That's all I ask. It's not that hard. If you needed something you'd expect me to respond so why wouldn't you show me the same respect? Just Dumb! Another fact of life I do not understand. Don't respond just when you need something but let the other person know you heard them or something. Geesh!

THE END!