So this is the revelation I received this morning.

I need to live below my means. LOL I know. Duh, right? However its so depressing living below your means. For example if I make 40,000 I should really be living on 30,000. Why? Because:

1) if I'm really making 40,000 a year, I'm only actually bring home about 30,000 after taxes. its the net not the gross that you have free to spend.

2) uncle Sam thinks anyone without children or a spouse make too much and should pay more taxes than everyone else. So whether I claim 0 and pay the piper all year and look for my big break in April or if I cheat a little during the year, claim 1 and pay at the end, Sam still gets his cut either way.

3) I want to leave an inheritance for my nieces and nephews. Instead of leaving debt, I want to leave a trust and let them live off the fat of the land. Teach them how to manage money at an early age, develop business skills, and encourage them to look beyond their immediate pockets and into the future bank rolls they could hold, companies they could own, land, and royalties earned without working. I saw a show called "The fabulous life of young hot Royalty". There's a family in Germany who is simply rich just because their ancestors were postal workers.

Take 22-year-old Prince Albert Von Thurn Und Taxis. He's heir to a powerful German Dynasty credited with modernizing what we know of as today's postal system. When he turned 18 he inherited one of Europe's largest fortunes and is now worth $2 billion dollars-- making him the youngest billionaire in the world. Oh and the massive 500 room German palace he grew up in? That belongs to him too.

So I'm thinking, I'm not going to invent anything anytime soon so how can I work on leaving an inheritance and not an inherited debt. I must first get out of debt and live below my means so that I can store up funds to buy land, real estate, and start a business. Then I can work on my plan for inheritance building.

4) by watching and hearing various stories of white people, people from India, Mexicans, etc Black people are the only people who do not help one another, who spend more than they make, who buy to impress their neighbors and friends while stockpiling bills, who buy a car they cannot afford while living in an apartment more lavish than the house they should be buying, etc. Because we are so depressed from living on the bottom, being born on the bottom, starting out on the bottom, that when we see light, get a good job, find a piece of money, the first thing we do is spend it and worry about the bills later. I have been spending every penny to the max, not leaving room for mishaps, uncontrolled circumstances, no money in the bank at the end of the month, stretching dollars until they break and cant be sown back together. Living on your own, being independent does not mean asking mom, dad, and uncle for handouts every time I get in a jam. I do not believe it is the White man keeping us down. I believe their are enough intelligent black people to start their own business, hire and fire people, produce a good product, provide quality service, and be prosperous beyond the status quo diddy understands this and he has no talent whatsoever, but he has made his ability to bs and hustle his cash cow. J understands this and so does T.I. and 50 cent. They all came from nothing, out the hood, did their dirt, and saw a way to turn that dirt making ability into an empire. I know this is a far stretch and they are talented rappers but they have other business ventures that are working for them making money when they are doing nothing. How dumb can that be? Not that celebrity success is the basis of my whole philosophy but it has its place.

5) I am tired of living pitiful enjoying a little now and trying to figure out the rest later.

There's more to my ah ha moment but i'm tired of typing, i know you're tired of reading, and I'm distracted anyway LOL my attention has moved on to something else. But I thought I'd share in my revelation which I prayed for when asking God what I should do about my apartment situation. And believe it or not, he actually gave me an answer LOL !


**this was written may 27, 2010 hanging out in my drafts so i figured i'd finally post it.**

I TOLD YOU SO

Had a very blessed week. Even met someone new. Those positive words of self-encouragement actually work. I even woke up one morning feeling so loved and embraced by God. I woke up with a smile on my face feeling loved and loving my daddy!. It's like He kissed me with his sunshine and hugged me 1st thing in the A.M. I woke out of my peaceful restful sleep smiling saying My Daddy Loves Me! WOW! It was a miraculous feeling of euphoria. I pray for that type of awakening every morning.

I've been reading my word more and not just on Sunday when the pastor says turn to chapter xyz. I've been working hard to make it to Sunday School, which has been a tremendous blessing. I'm trying my hardest to smile more even when I think no one's looking, especially when I think no one is looking.

Today is going to be another awesome day not just because it's bright and sunny but because I have a full schedule and I intend on enjoying every minute of it.

Repositioned for Transition

It's Sunday and bishop's word was about changing your circumstances. He spoke from the story of Jesus changing water to wine. Bishop took it from the perspective that when Jesus asked for the water to be brought to the wedding spot he was setting it up for transitioning. Just the water was set up for transition so are we.

God places us in unfamiliar situations so that we can learn a lesson in preparation for what he has for us next in our life. What I took from this is that I should consider my trials and tribulations or tough situations as a repositioning readying me for transition.

So I'm trying to think about what's going on in my life at this moment.

1. I have joined the Young Leaders Council which in my opinion is out of my league and a step in committed growth and outreach which I wholeheartedly signed up for and it was on my list of goals for 2009 so, I consider that success. Is that repositioning for transition? Yes, I think so.

2. The director has asked me to head up an evaluation of the program she is responsible for implementing. The evaluation is at least a 1-2 year evaluation. The first for me in what I hope to be a long line of significant program evaluations. Is this reposition for transition? Yes. My direct in-house supervisor only saw fit to give me work that I consider tedious and monotonous.

3. I currently for the 1st time have no prospective gentlemen callers and I'm okay with that. I wouldn't say totally okay but I am more okay than I have ever been in the past. Would I consider this repositioning for transistion? Yes. I'm coming to realize that I need to do better. I deserve better and I can do better. I have been settling for too long and it's only caused severe damage to my emotions, will, and desire.

There are other repositioning situations that have happened this year but for the most part, there's only one that really matters and sets the tone for all the rest. It's my way of seeing things. My way of looking at situations. My way of accepting who I am, who I need to be, and what I need to do to make changes. Destiny is my soul purpose for being. If I'm not focused on my destiny then I'm headed in the wrong direction.

As God works transition in my life the only thing I can do is ready myself for the respositioning, be a willing participant, grasp the lessons I'm suppose to learn, and allow God full rein over my life. Follow his steps and lead by example.

What's your respositioning mantra? Where are you going? Where have you been? What have you learned? Have you been transformed in a way that you recognize only God could do? What's your destiny? What's your purpose? Who do you serve? Where are you going?

Gaining Direction for your Life

So, my bishop got married May 23 2009. I am so happy for him and the new 1st lady. A man as wonderful as him deserves happiness and companionship.



Of course that means our bishop had to consecrate the marriage! And I know he was more than ready for that LOL! Needless to say, we had a substitute for worship service Sunday May 24th and rightfully so.



Pastor Charles Jenkins from Fellowship Missionary Baptist Church sacrificed leaving his church service to take care of his friend Bishop Walker's sheep. And I am so glad he did because he delivered and AWESOME sermon.



"Gaining Direction for your life." Scripture base, Habakkuk 2:2 talks about how Habakkuk the faithful God loving man pursued his ambitions placed on him by God. No matter what the circumstances he pressed on in the name of Jesus.



Jeremiah 29:11 Pastor Jenkins reminded us that God has something for everyone. There's no need to worry about what other people have going on. As long as you follow the word of God you will receive your just reward.



If you want to change what you are receiving in your life then change the ppl you take your issues to. They have no idea what is in store for you. Only God knows that. So why bother communicating with those outside the realm when there answers are with God. Matthew 7:7 Prayer brings forth the answers and directions you need.



Be not weary for God has the answers and will give you what you need. You only have to continue talking to him, listening, and follow his lead.



Examples of God giving directions: Gen 12:1, Ex 3:14, Judges 6:14, and Joshua 4:15.



When God gives you a vision, it is for an appointed time. There is no time to waste when God gives you direction you must act and not procrastinate. As I reflect on this segment I think I may have missed many an opportunity to do what it is God has for me. I once received vision to start an after school enrichment program in my hometown and extend it to small cities across the U.S. I have yet to fulfill that vision because there is no way I want to return home to my small town full of depression, defeat, and stagnation. I seem to no longer have that vision as I am just trying to maintain where I am and not loose footing.



All things happen for a reason. I believe God has put something great in the cards for me. The direction I'm headed in now seems to be a pretty good foundation builder for the next steps in my progress. I'm not giving up and I must try harder to make that vision come true whether it is the same as originally viewed of if there are adaptations.



Patience is the ability to wait on God and follow his lead when it seems there is no way out of what your in. In order to fulfill the vision God has set for us, we have to Pray about it and ask for guidance. God will provide direction for that vision. Once we receive that vision we have to write it down and make it plain so that we wont forget it and work towards carrying it out.



God will only give you visions that are progressive and build on one another. In this progression others may not understand whats going on. Your job is to continue in the word, work the vision, and be patient waiting on the results.



God knows what he's doing. Trust Him.

SLEEPY AND HORNY

IT IS DAY 18 ON MY 40 DAY FAST. I'M NOT EVEN HALFWAY THERE. WHAT I REALIZED IS THAT I AM ONLY DOING PARTIALLY WHAT I'M SUPPOSE TO DO AND THAT'S EATING AND COMMUNING WITH GOD. IT IS HARD ENOUGH TO FIGURE OUT WHAT TO EAT AND NOT EAT. I HAVEN'T BEEN FOCUSING ON THE COMMUNICATION PART AS MUCH. I STARTED OUT READING DANIEL AND TRYING TO GRASP AN UNDERSTANDING OF THE SCRIPTURE. THAT LASTED UNTIL ABOUT CHAPTER 9. THERE ARE ONLY 12 CHAPTERS. BUT YOU KNOW ME, I HAD TO GET A COMPANION GUIDE TO HELP ME GET MORE MEANING OUT OF MY READING. THAT HAS SLOWED IT UP A BIT. THIS IS THE BOOK I CHOSE: HOLMAN OLD TESTAMENT COMMENTARY: DANIEL.

THIS COMMENTARY GIVES A BRIEF CHARACTER BACKGROUND, HISTORY, TALKING POINTS, AND SUMMARIZATION AS WELL AS STAR POINTS..WHAT YOU SHOULD GET OUT OF THE CHAPTER OR VERSES. IT'S A REALLY GOOD COMPANION TOOL FOR BIBLE STUDY.

NOW TO THE POINT OF MY TITLE. I AM SLEEPY AND HORNY BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN UP PAST 2AM FOR THE LAST WEEK OR SO TRYING TO WORK ON SEVERAL THINGS AND FEELING LIKE I'M GETTING NOTHING DONE. I'M ALSO HORNY CUZ I HAVE NOT HAD ANY IN FOREVER!

I'M ASSUMING THIS IS THE POINT I AM SUPPOSE TO BE IN DEEP PRAYER. THE PROBLEM IS I DO NOT HAVE TIME LOL! I'M SO BUSY TRYING TO STAY BUSY I HAVE NOT SET ASIDE TIME TO BE WITH GOD. LORD HELP.

I PROMISE TO START TODAY.

Thoughts to remember when faced with trouble

• The devil cannot devour you at his will
• Attacks have limits
• You’re a new creature not governed by your past
• Power of darkness is broken over my life
• Every satanic attack is illegal and can be stopped
• I can control my thought life by controlling my fears
• Devil only has place if you give it to him
• Do not allow the devil to get you out of character
• No weapon formed by satan shall prosper
• My protection is in my confession
• Confessions are like alarm systems. You must activate the alarm to make it work.

How to deal with demons/spirits/warfare
Laying on of hands - Luke 4:40-41; 13:11-13
Special miracles of God – Acts 19
Prayer and fasting – Mark 9:29
Do not dilute the spirit of fasting. Fasting is Food! Put our body into subjection. Allow God to sustain you.
By the word of God – Matthew 8:16
Prophetic anointing of music – Isaiah 16:14-23
Praise brings deliverance – Psalm 32:7