Today is the day the Lord has made i will rejoice and be glad in it

Fwd : Mr. Penis said 2 his balls "Get ready." We're goin 2 a party." His balls said "Fuckin liar! U always go inside & leave us outside knocking!

Spendin too much money on grown folks. Broke beyond my last penny. Need 2nd income like yesterday. Need a vacation immediately.

On my way to south street restaurant hmm this could get merry

testing

Testing! Testing!  Just set up my email blogger capabilities. 

Stupid Pet Tricks!

I miss my baby. He acts so much like a child it's ridiculous. He throws temper tantrums when I don't call or respond to every message. If he is the last one to call or text and I don't say anything back he wont speak to me until I say something to him. He thinks we should keep track and take turns responding. He is so stupid. I'm crazy about him and for some reason I feel this is the best I can do as far as a long term relationship with someone I truly want to be with but I'm really ready to call it quits.

I shouldn't feel so frustrated and have to deal with such idiocy in a relationship. I'm better off just being by myself and wishing I had someone to be with. Like the the one before I just have to cut my ties, close my heart, and let it go. Just because I love him doesn't mean we should be together. I've given him way too many chances. He's just stupid and childish. Besides that he's made it clear that he doesn't want to get married so what's the point of hanging on anyway if we don't want the same thing.

Lawd! Lawd! Lawd! Yhy are you playing with me?! As I'm typing this fool just text me! I'm so freakin confused. Here's his smart-ass text "Jus sayin gdmornin" This fool ain't said shit to me all beautiful weekend. Who the fuck he been with all weekend? I've had dilemmas to deal with all weekend. I needed someone to vent and talk to. I thought that's what boyfriends are for and he's no where to be found. Not there when I need him.

What should I do? Should I jump and respond? Should I wait and respond later today? Should I even respond and all and go ahead with my decision to completely drop his ass for good?

It's 8am. I think I'll pass on the responding. Cuz if that's all his dumb ass has to say is good freakin morning after not speaking to me all damn weekend for some childish-ass reason then fuck him.

Dirty Dozen: Lil Wayne

You have got to read this article lil wayne does with Playboy. He is so real and funny. Very interesting!

http://www.playboy.com/articles/lil-wayne-dirty-dozen/index.html?page=1

Tidbits from Bible Study

A relationship with God requires covenant, communion, and commitment.

Just because other people failed you does not mean God will.

Variances of Grace
Saving Grace - another chance to carry out his word
Sustaining Grace - strength to keep going

Invest in whatever my ministry is whether it be family, career, relationship, etc.

What grieves God the most is that you consider a thing finished/over/failed in the presence of God. It grieves God that you give up when he's in the midst with you.

How to make your personal relationships work:
1. Appreciate the difference
2. Don't compare
3. Honor one another
4. Be loyal - remain friends
5. Cherish intimacy
6. Be spiritually attentive
7. Make happy memories

He has 4 children by 4 different women

He has 4 children by 4 different women. And I'm looking to be number 5! Why???? I have no idea. Blame it on the laws of stupid attraction. Women are destined to be go-getters and for all the wrong reasons when it comes to men.

I'm stupidly attracted to this beautiful dark chocolate man who oozes so much sex appeal to me. All I have to see is the crook of his smile. No joke! I truly understand what Jill Scott meant in your provative man songs now and the sceen on Tyler perry's Why Did I Ge Married when the camera slowly glides over Troy's mouth mmm mmm mmm! That is so how I feel about this man.

When I wake up in the morning sometime all I see is his smile...visions of his smile in my head. Unfortunately he doesn't spend the night every night. Only once or twice a month.

One morning I woke up and I smiled so hard. It was unbelieveable. That's when I realized I had to love this guy. Why else would I wake up feeling all warm and wonderful just from seeing a vision of his smile and nothing else.

I had to text him that morning and tell him "I'm happy with you. Thoughts of you make me smile." Honey (smh) That man is nice.

The crazy part is, he hasn't done anything special for me. Nothing fancy, we havent even gone out on a date. Well not what we call a typical date. No movies, no dinner, no outing, etc. However I have rode with him to pick up and his son, whom he let me meet for the 1st time. I have also met his family whom he invited me to during a cookout celebration 2 hours away. So, I don't think I should really be complaining. I have been introduced to the family and one of the 4 children. That's suppose to carry a lot of weight...right.

Here I am feigning at work all day long just for an eye spy of this man. I like to look at him. His lips make me want to kiss him all the time. His cheekbones make me smile. His skin complexion makes me melt and his build makes me horny (yeah, u knew that was coming lol).

Another dissociative aspect of him is his strong passion for hood ghetto music and movies. lol! Nothing else will do. He loves it to the core of his being. He does not want to know anything else. He is familiar with regular r&b and what not but there's nothing more meaningful to him than stupid gangsta/ghetto rap and lame hood movies. hahahaha

We must take the good with the bad. Besides, who am I to stand in judgement? A 33 year old virgin with no children, no prospects, and no desire for the like until recently. I'm content but desiring of a worthwhile relationship. Relationships in the past have only been testing grounds for what I do and dont' want. this man is everything I do and don't want and I like it :-)

Things can get a little lonely trying to love a thug, ex-thug, semi-thug, cleaned-up corporate thug. The price we pay with our hearts to have what the flesh wants and the heart thinks it desires and the mind doing nothing about it.

Do it like this girl Not that!

So, here's another clean-up item from my inbox. My preacher had a tell all session about what men are looking for and what women can do to get them and how we turn them off. Because I don't want to forget anything I decided to post them here. I think I have most of them down pat. It's the self-esteem issue that keeps me single. That I am well aware of and trying to work on everyday. Its hard. There are many years of torcher and pain to shift through. Hopefully I'll get over it one day. Until then..

What Men Want
1. Men want compliments ( they need affirmation)
2. Men want women to not let themselves go (What you did to get him, you need to continue to keep him) Never get TOO comfortable with your man.
3. Men want you to have a life ( he doesn’t want you under him ALL the time)
4. Men don’t want you to be a doormat
5. He REALLY doesn’t want to know all of your past ( Pro. 6: 32 )
6. I Love You is not just in words. Men are not verbal people, they show with their actions)
7. Nothing wrong sometimes mean Nothing is Really Wrong
8. All Black Shoes look the same
9. How was your day?Is a simple question with a simple answer.
10. Men want women to start initiating Sex.

What Annoy Men
1. Freebies ( men paying for EVERYTHANG) some women only call men for free meals and movies

2. Tired of Whining
3. Backstabbing, Messy or Criticizing other women ( especially Christian Sisters)
4. Pigeoning ( bringing your girls everywhere ** and making him pay for every body **)
5. Abusing Generosity ( only call him when you need a favor )
6. Interruption of great sports moments or events (March Madness, Superbowl, etc.)
7. Playing Hard to Get
8. Using Sex as a Weapon
9. Blaming All Men ( for past relationships issues)
10. Closing the Deal too soon ( moving too fast)

3 Misc. S’s

1. Self Esteem – men can pick up on a woman’s self esteem. A man with ill intentions will prey on a woman with low self esteem because she is seeking him to affirm what others (male figures * dad* in her life) did not. Hence how women can get caught up in abusive relationships (verbal, emotional, physical, psychological, etc.). A woman must know her own self value and self worth before trying to love some one else.

2. Sex – men want women to do more that missionary position. They want women to be more adventurous (try new things) and desirable in the bedroom. They also want women to try oral sex. A conversation need to be held before marriage about what both desire sexually to for compatibility. The bedroom for husband and wife is undefiled, but use wisdom on where to cross the line.

3. Sister’s Keeper – Be your sister’s keeper. Hold her accountable ( she holds you accountable also). Women need to lift each other up and respect the God given gifts and talents in each other. Women don’t need to be envious f other women, what God has for you, it is for you and no one else.

Ask Rick these questions

Been away for a while. Haven't had much to say, been a little busy with work, haven't really had the urge to blog, but I'm back :-) Miss me???? I know I know lol!

I was cleaning up my email box trying to figure out what to delete and what to act on. I hate a full inbox. I've been leaving things in the inbox because I need to act on them. Thing is I'm like a month behind and its killin me.

Here is one of the 'act on' items I'm deleting. I started semi-dating this guy and I wanted to do it right by asking him the right questions and really getting to know him. However, I ditched him before I could really start the blog. Truth be told I dont think he was very much interested. Orginally I was going to use a psuedomnam but since we deleted each other's number I'll use his real name. It's pretty common so only he and I will know exactly who he is :-)

His name is Rick and here are the list of questions compiled by one of my friends that should be asked in the beginning of any relationship. As you can see, I only got a few of the questions answered in general conversation. We didn't really get to sit down and talk. We met at the gym once and that's about it. I think he had another life but he said it was just him playing basketball (young). I think he's in his 20's. I met him through blackpeoplemeet.com Not really my cup of tea, but he was kinda cute on screen. Not as cute in person but...oh well. On to better things.

1. Are you married? No divorced? No separated? No
2. Do you have any children? No
3. Have you ever been arrested? if so, why and for how long were you locked up?
4. Where do you work? A Storage Company (Can't remember if he told me the name or not)
5. Do you have a working vehicle? Yes
6. How long ago was your last relationship?
7. Why did it end?
8. Do you ever plan on getting married?
9. When do you plan on settling down?
10. Do you want children?
11. What do you want from me?