So this is the revelation I received this morning.

I need to live below my means. LOL I know. Duh, right? However its so depressing living below your means. For example if I make 40,000 I should really be living on 30,000. Why? Because:

1) if I'm really making 40,000 a year, I'm only actually bring home about 30,000 after taxes. its the net not the gross that you have free to spend.

2) uncle Sam thinks anyone without children or a spouse make too much and should pay more taxes than everyone else. So whether I claim 0 and pay the piper all year and look for my big break in April or if I cheat a little during the year, claim 1 and pay at the end, Sam still gets his cut either way.

3) I want to leave an inheritance for my nieces and nephews. Instead of leaving debt, I want to leave a trust and let them live off the fat of the land. Teach them how to manage money at an early age, develop business skills, and encourage them to look beyond their immediate pockets and into the future bank rolls they could hold, companies they could own, land, and royalties earned without working. I saw a show called "The fabulous life of young hot Royalty". There's a family in Germany who is simply rich just because their ancestors were postal workers.

Take 22-year-old Prince Albert Von Thurn Und Taxis. He's heir to a powerful German Dynasty credited with modernizing what we know of as today's postal system. When he turned 18 he inherited one of Europe's largest fortunes and is now worth $2 billion dollars-- making him the youngest billionaire in the world. Oh and the massive 500 room German palace he grew up in? That belongs to him too.

So I'm thinking, I'm not going to invent anything anytime soon so how can I work on leaving an inheritance and not an inherited debt. I must first get out of debt and live below my means so that I can store up funds to buy land, real estate, and start a business. Then I can work on my plan for inheritance building.

4) by watching and hearing various stories of white people, people from India, Mexicans, etc Black people are the only people who do not help one another, who spend more than they make, who buy to impress their neighbors and friends while stockpiling bills, who buy a car they cannot afford while living in an apartment more lavish than the house they should be buying, etc. Because we are so depressed from living on the bottom, being born on the bottom, starting out on the bottom, that when we see light, get a good job, find a piece of money, the first thing we do is spend it and worry about the bills later. I have been spending every penny to the max, not leaving room for mishaps, uncontrolled circumstances, no money in the bank at the end of the month, stretching dollars until they break and cant be sown back together. Living on your own, being independent does not mean asking mom, dad, and uncle for handouts every time I get in a jam. I do not believe it is the White man keeping us down. I believe their are enough intelligent black people to start their own business, hire and fire people, produce a good product, provide quality service, and be prosperous beyond the status quo diddy understands this and he has no talent whatsoever, but he has made his ability to bs and hustle his cash cow. J understands this and so does T.I. and 50 cent. They all came from nothing, out the hood, did their dirt, and saw a way to turn that dirt making ability into an empire. I know this is a far stretch and they are talented rappers but they have other business ventures that are working for them making money when they are doing nothing. How dumb can that be? Not that celebrity success is the basis of my whole philosophy but it has its place.

5) I am tired of living pitiful enjoying a little now and trying to figure out the rest later.

There's more to my ah ha moment but i'm tired of typing, i know you're tired of reading, and I'm distracted anyway LOL my attention has moved on to something else. But I thought I'd share in my revelation which I prayed for when asking God what I should do about my apartment situation. And believe it or not, he actually gave me an answer LOL !


**this was written may 27, 2010 hanging out in my drafts so i figured i'd finally post it.**

Personal post of the moment

Feeling in a slump today, why, I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I did my part but he didn’t do his. Relationships can surely suck sometimes.

I wanna be in love. - 9:54am

9:57am - Feel like i go to church outta pure obligation not because I really want to.  I dont feel I really learn anything more or different than I already knew. Is that wrong or bad? wonder how many other ppl feel the same way.

10:13am - trying to stay off my phone is going to get me in trouble. So easily distracted. I have much work to do but ...here I am.

12:38pm - Just read this in October's issue of Readers Digest, one way to find happiness is to write down 3 good things that happened to you each day for at least 6 months and note how much better you'll feel.  I think I'm going to try this starting with today. Maybe I'll make it a new blog page or something so I can gave it separated out and more easily accessible. Would hate to have to hunt for it every time I needed a refresher.

3:39pm - I'm in love...with me!

3:41pm - And so he finally speaks. 

My Co-worker

My co-worker is dumb!

Two Can Play At That Game

Have you ever dated someone and thought, “Now why the heck am I with him?”  I’ve done this a million times and still haven’t figured out why I do what I do. Why do I allow myself to date these guys I’m really really not even interested in?  Is it for companionship because I have no friends to hang out with? Yes.  Is it for financial gain so I don’t have to pay for every single thing I want myself? Yes. LOL Well there you have it.  You’re a selfish prick LOL!  And that shit aint even funny. 

There’s a blues song out that says, “You’re no good. You’re no good. You’re no good.”  I think this should be my anthem.  Not really because I’m not good but because I’m so not feeling whatever he talking about so I just move on to the next one. Twenty plus years later I should not still be singing this same ol tune but I am. Good-bye dead weight. Hello peace and happiness…and loneliness. 

Feeling some kinda way today

Feeling some kinda way today.  Yesterday was a good day. All Days are great days actually. Some days are just longer than others causing the week to be stretched beyond my desired acceptability.  It’s Friday. I just got paid. And I’m all about the AKM Masquerade party this Saturday!  Got my feathered mask, my boa for fluffed fun, and my man will be on deck to help celebrate.  He’s not much into donations and charity but he’s down for free drinks and a good time.  Can’t wait to see him in his hat and blue shoes lol! The hit of the party I’m sure. 0_o

Earlier this week I started a post but didn’t post simply stating I want the ring and the name change but NOT the legal commitment.  There’s something about that forever and ever binding contract that I’m just not ready for.  It would be nice to find that special someone one day that I just have to have but right now I’m just too scared.  Money, compromise, trust, letting your guard down…all that is frightening. 

What’s today’s Blurb about?

Well…well…well today is the day the Lord our God has made! Let us rejoice and be glad in it! Whew! Yesterday I trudged up and down 6.5treacherous concrete hills through downtown Nashville in the scorching humidity! The first 2 miles took me through the masses of holiday celebrators around LP field and over the Pedestrian Bridge! This bridge aint no joke.  I just couldn’t make it without stopping.  They would have had to carry me way in a paddy wagon trying to jog up that mountain of concrete and steel.  Highest elevation was 568 feet. I also got caught in the smoke and debris from the fireworks at the start of Nashville’s 4^th of July celebration.  So that definitely didn’t help my breathing.  I should have been down there relaxing and maxing with everyone else, but I had to run and boo thang didn’t really seem too interested in the festivities anyway.  He doesn’t like to do much that is connected to Chattanooga in some way, shape, form or fashion.  I also hate that he doesn’t have any original ideas.  Any planning or activity adventures are that of my own creation and spontaneity.  And even then he may or may not be game if it’s something he’s familiar with. Blah! How boring. L

Anyhow, back to the story. I finished the 6.5 miles in an hour and 38 minutes with an average 15 min/mile.  Of course when me and my girl returned all the East Nasty crew were gone LOL! That’s okay.  I had BGR with me and we did it.  We even stretched and did our cheer afterwards. It was a great run. Proud of me J

I wore my white pants today.  I bought a new fit on payday last week.  I’m in need of summer clothes and also in need of more tops…tops with sleeves especially.  LOL not really sure why I like sleeveless tops so much but I have way to many to be working in an office building.  It wouldn’t be so bad if I wore jackets or a sweater to cover my fat arms but they are so itchy.  I hate jackets.  A business suit is not my thing but they look so good. I need to get me a few before I attend my next away conference, that’s for sure.

Closing out the day making it my Friday. Taking tomorrow off just because. Woohoo!

Just my thoughts

Feeling pretty sleepy same as yesterday and just about every day. Job is pretty uninteresting. Not that I hate it because I need a job. Don’t really know what I want to do. Really, I don’t want to work. I just want all my bills to be paid off, a house paid off, and all the money I want to spend for the eternity.  J Where they do that at? Idk! I should have been born to a rich family.  

Spent the day trying to stay away, trying to focus on completing a 5 3 min PowerPoint, finally went to lunch with some co-workers, and spent the remainder of the time wishing.  Here’s what I came up with____________________ I should have been born into a rich family. LOL

Joining this Instagram photo challenge and each day is a different theme or targeted photo.  Today’s challenge is “best part of my day”. Yesterday was “busy” and Sunday July 1 was self-portrait.  So the “best part of my day” truly is lying in bed either before we have to get up or after the day is over.  Either one, I love it and it’s spoiling me rotten, making me lazy.  My busy moments on July 2 would be work, running, and cross training.  I got up at 4am went to Inferno fitness and allowed them heifers to kick my ass for 60 daggum minutes!  And they had me begging for mercy.  My arms were tired, my lungs cried, and my heart just up and left. It was a good morning wake up.  I was so famished after that whipping I went home and cooked up a mushroom, mozzarella, and chicken omelet with pita bread and juice on the side. Man was I too gone! Then later that evening I hit the track with my BGR girls.  Monday was speed work day.  I did 6 x 400s in slow motion. It took me all of 48 minutes to run 2.94 miles up and down the sidewalk 6 times.  However for me it wasn’t about the speed as much as it’s still about endurance.  My right lung is not taking oxygen to well.  My goal this day was to make it up the hill without stopping.  There’s a slight incline along our route and that little bit kills me every time.  This time I took my time, 16 min/mile, and forced my heart to pump it! Pump it! I was proud of myself.

Travel plans for next year:

January – Somewhere I need a passport

June/July – Either Essence Festival or Jamaica

September – Charlotte, NC

November – Winston-Salem, NC

December – Some log cabin maybe in the Poconos